Muahahaha

Happy Birthday to me!
As my present to myself, I'm going to fill out one of those survey/polls/question thingies. Because I love filling them out. But, I never do, because I know people don't usually read them/care... But since it's my birthday YOU MUST CARE.
Please. :]

1. Spell your name without an E, R, S, H, K, I, M, L, C, A, Y, N
Pov

2. Are you single?
Yes

3. What is your favorite number?
49

4. What is your favorite color?
Orange

5. Least favorite color?
Red

6. What are you listening to?
Snow Patrol

8. Are you involved with anyone?
Nope

9. What is/was your favorite subject in school?
Well... Right now, socials.

10. Do you have money?
Does my piggy bank count?

11. Would you take an ex back?
Yep

12. Where do you wish you were right now?
At the pool...

D: Where did 13-15 go?!

16. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping/not staring at a computer screen

THE CAN'S:
Can you do a cart wheel? Absolutely
Can you touch your toes? Oh yea
Can you wiggle your ears? Pfft. Cool people can't wiggle their ears...
Can you touch your tongue to your nose? Yessiree

THE DID'S:
Did you ever want to be a doctor? Totally.
Did you ever want to be a fire fighter? At one point.
Did you ever want to be a teacher? It was considered.


THE DO'S:
Do you like roller coasters? No.
Do you own a bike? Kinda? My sister kinda stole it from me.
Do you play the lotto? ...I play lotto in French class...
Do you like football? GO BEARS!
Do you have a shopping addiction? Ha. That's funny.

THE DOES:
Does your family have family picnics? No. But that would be seriously rad.
Does your wallet have any pics in it? Tons.

THE LASTS:
Last person you hung out with? Uh, does rowing crew count...?
Last car ride? My mom home from rowing...
Last text message? Matt, I think?


LAST THING?
What was the last thing you bought? A caramel apple spice.
What was the last thing you had to drink? MILKSHAKE.
What was the last thing you watched? Bones. Why can't Seely and Booth just kiss already?!
What was the last thing you read? Surprised by Hope, NT Wright
What was the last thing you hand wrote? I signed a document...

THE WHO'S:
Who last talked to you on the phone? Matt and Caitlin
Who was the last person you took a picture of? CJMC (Colin)
Who do you miss right now? Little Red!
Who last hugged you? Little Red
Who last IM'd you? David. Gmail chat is the way to go.

CURRENTLY:
What color shirt are you wearing? White with a 'Place KIDZ' logo.
Have any tattoos? Temporary ones...
Have you any piercings? Ears only.
Straight hair or curly? Depends how I wash/dry it.
Where are you? In bed.


HAVE YOU EVER:
Failed a class? Nope
Confessed your love and been turned down? Yup
Accomplished a life goal? Yes

SIX THINGS YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR ROOM:
1. Books
2. Art
3. Spandex
4. Disney Movies
5. Stuffies
6. A mess

FOUR THINGS ON YOUR MIND:
1. My eyes are really tired
2. I'm hungry
3. Prayer
4. Hope

When was the last time you really laughed? Tonight, on the phone

Do you drink milk straight from the carton? Occasionally... Shh...

How long is your hair? Just past my shoulder.

Who was the last person who told you they loved you? Hmm... Matt and Caitlin? Mom?

When was the last time you sang out loud? 2 seconds ago? Wait, now. No, now.

What did you have for breakfast? Gum.

is ur birthday on a holiday? Not unless today is a holiday.

What instant messaging service do you use? GMAIL, FOO.

Are you signed on it right now and if so, who are you talking to? Signed in, no one is online.

Can you cook? I can. I think.

Did you have a nap today? Not really. I've been avoiding closing my eyes.

What do you wear more, jeans or sweats? Jeans, definitely.

When is your birthday? Today. Kinda. Doctors argue whether it was the 24th or the 25th.

Do you have any regrets? A few.

Do you use an alarm clock? Yep. Everyday.

Whats the first thing you notice of the opposite sex? Probably height.

What color is your favorite shoe? Black. And white?

Who would you like to see right now? They could figure it out for themselves.

Are you a social or antisocial person? an interesting mix.

Do you have a tan? Pfft. I couldn't be anymore black.

Would you rather sleep in the bed with someone, or alone? Alone. I like napping with people though.

Ever had braces? No, my teeth are pretty good.

Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Yup.

Did you miss someone today? Oh yea.

Do you always wear your seat belt? Ha... Uhm...

Do you like American Idol? Only the auditions.

What is the last reason you cried? 10 minutes ago?

Do you believe that what comes around goes around? Kinda.

Does anyone love you? Without a doubt.

Where is one place you want to visit? The Gold Coast, Australia.

Have you ever crawled through a window? Duh.

Are you a morning person or a night person? Night.

Are you a forgiving person? I'd say so.

Are you taller than 5'6"? Mhm.


Well... That was an interesting way to end a questionnaire... Strange...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ME!

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine.

Imagine walking into a pitch-black room. It's very dark. Now, how would you get rid of the dark? Would you go to the corner of the room and peel it back, like a sticker? Or gather it all in a basket? Maybe sweep it out? Imagine yourself doing those things... Slightly ridiculous, eh? It brings quite a funny image to mind.

But say we walked into that very dark, pitch-black room and turned on the light? In an instant, the darkness is gone. Light a candle, and lots of the darkness will be gone, but there will still be some hiding behind you, or deep in the corners...

Darkness is simply the absence of light The concept is simple, darkness goes away with the presence of light, and not vice versa. "Throwing away darkness", in my experience, does not mean light will be there to replace it.

So, here's my point...

Why do I always try to fight the darkness in my life by eliminating it? Our hearts are like the room that is filled with darkness - sin. We know that the darkness needs to go, so we go in and try to pick at it, make it go away piece by piece. The harder we try to eliminate sin from our lives the less effective we become, because we use all of our energy on fighting something that doesn’t exist! The way I see it, sin is the absence of God’s light in our lives. Sure, there are all kinds of things that help define that darkness, but they can't be beaten without the light of God’s power.

So, like, what if we simply turned the light on? What if we walked into that room with the presence of God? Wouldn’t the darkness/sin have to flee? Once God comes in, there would be no room for anything else. Since darkness is simply the absence of light, in God’s presence sin can not exist.

Let’s stop trying to catch the darkness and throw it out the door. Instead let’s turn the light on, and watch the darkness run away!

Maybe it will start with just a flicker of a candle, but eventually, the light of God within you might be as bright as the sun.

Obviously, this is harder than it sounds, but... Just some thoughts from my brain.

Atheism, by Britt

As I sat doing my homework, I noticed my Google Reader has 1 unread post... Clicked it, and laughed pretty darn hard , thanks to Britt's post

The belief that there was nothing and nothing happened to nothing and then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything and then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself for no reason what so ever into self-replicating bits which then turned into dinosaurs. Makes perfect sense.

* * *
3 in one night! Crazy monkey madness!

Ephesians 2:8

God's grace.
I know that our lives depend upon it. I realize that I am still here because of it. Basking in the knowledge that God's grace has transformed me continues to bring joy to me. The realization of what I deserve, and the understanding of what I've received is beyond awesome.
Because it is by grace we have been saved, through faith. Not of works so no man can boast. I am continually amazed by it!

* * *

So, this is the second post of the night. I was considering leaving them in the same post, but, decided to make separate posts because they are so different in theme...

:]

Possible 3rd post on the way... :O

a small twist

When I was younger, I used to love roller coasters. The first time I can remember going on one was at Disneyland, in Grade 3. No big twists or turns on those guys, but I loved them. The adrenaline rush was something I had never experienced before, and I couldn't get enough. West Ed mall, I was going on every roller coaster I could. Upside-down, backwards, you name it, I did it. Then, as I got older, I started seeing them differently. I liked having my feet on the ground, and my body would ache after I got off a ride... Finally, a few years ago, at La Ronde in Montreal, I decided I didn't like roller coasters. I'll still ride them, but I don't enjoy them. I hate them.

I write this because I feel like I am on a roller coaster. I know it's such a cliche, but it such a perfect representation of my emotions. Some days I'm not on a roller coaster, and my feet are planted on the ground. Some days though... One minute I am o.k, the next; a mess. I'll be having a great day and suddenly something "just isn't right" and I just break down crying. Today it happened when I woke up from a nap and my shirt was twisted around me, and I couldn't untwist it. Bam. Tears. Seriously?! Just one little poke and the flood gates were opened.

The fact I do this is frustrating, which just makes me cry a little harder. I'm ready to get off this roller coaster.

One day I will wake up and laugh about my shirt being twisted.
Lord, I look forward to that day.

?

Over the past few days, I have been wondering why I have a blog.
I know that when I first brought this blog to life, I answered that question, but I guess I just needed to revisit it.

So I did some thinking, and then some writing, and I thought I'd share it with you.
It's nothing special at all, it's just what I needed.

There is one thing I know that will never change in my life -- I am on a journey with Jesus Christ by the grace of God. That journey is filled with sunshine and shadows. It is also filled with gratitude and grace. I am writing this blog for my own benefit -- to make me slow down and examine the life God has given me. But I am also writing it for you, in the hopes that these reflections might encourage your walk of faith as well. Not all posts will be inspiring, but, if just one word I've typed triggers some thinking, then it's worth it.

Hope and Joy touching my heart

So.

I thought I'd share this little clip that I saw on this dude's blog.

While watching it, the message just really spoke to me.
I've never been to Africa (although I'd love to) but...
I Need Africa, or I need to learn what they seem to know.

Maybe, for some of you, this movie will reach out and touch your heart too.

Ugh.

Nicknames.

In general, I don't like them.

Certain people can call me certain things, and I don't mind it, but... Ugh. Nicknames piss me off.

I seem to be a frequent victim of 'sports nicknames'. This is probably because I've played a fair deal of sports in my day... The thing about nicknames given to you by teammates/coaches is that they tend to stick, no matter if you like them or not...

The first (sports) nickname that really stuck was a water polo nickname... 'Beast'. That's right... It was given to me when I was 13. It was my first time ever playing with 'the big kids' and I was the youngest in the pool... So, obviously, being the bantam (novice), I checked the biggest guy on the team... 6' 11" Jesse "Seacow" McCowin. He could walk on the bottom of the pool and still had his head above water... Anyway... The end of the story is, I owned him. My endless supply of energy had me swimming circles around him, and my aggressive streak had me grabbing/kicking harder whenever he tried to do something to me. From that day on, I was known as 'Beast'.

And I STILL answer to it.
Disgusting.

So, tonight, after a freezing cold day on the water, I was not pleased to hear my new nickname...
"Athletic Barbie"
Supposively it's not even new, and my coaches have been calling me that for awhile now. I don't even know where it comes from, or why they would call me that. The scary thing is there are 3 other Sarah's on the team, so... They've been looking for different names to call us. The potential of this sticking: high.

I have no words to describe how much this bothers me...

Yuck.

In two, sprint to the end. Finish it, ladies.

Rowing.
Some days I wonder why I'm a rower, and why I love it. Other days, I just know.
All rowers know the feeling of the water sliding past you as you gracefully glide through it, the sound of the blades making contact and pushing through. We know that certain 'clunk' when you and the rest of your team are one body, every movement, every stroke, every muscle moving in sync.
We get all giddy and excited when the tide is in and the water isn't choppy; when there is little wind and the sun is out just enough to heat your back and warm your face.
We go through The Trestle, into The Narrows, to Bay, to Johnson and back again. We back-and-tap, glide, row on the square, Power 10, Power 20 and half-slide. We push into the foot plate harder then we ever thought we could push, and we keep working on pressure with every thought, motion and stroke.
We keep the ratio, the rate and we have our own splits that we always feel the need to stick to, if not beat. We cry over a less-than-a-second-loss in a race, and smile when we win over the other boat by one single stroke.
On the good days we feel strong and powerful, but most days aren't like this.
We get soaking wet when its choppy or when people can't tap down well. We are in a constant state of freezing during the winter months and never manage to keep our socks dry. Our hands are always caked in salt-water and we have hard callouses or blood blisters that form at the bottom of each finger.
We take the long trek from school to the Gorge everyday, hoping to make it by 3:55 so we don't have to erg. Our bags are filled with spandex of all shape, color and varying levels of warmth. We are used to 5+ layers in the winter, and if your lucky, a pair of pogies. We all bond and become close friends, seeing the good and bad in everyone on the team (this happens when you spend part of each day together) We run to the Red Hut and back until we have forgotten the number of laps we've done.
We erg for so long that by the end, every minute feels like an hour. We do push ups, sit ups, crunches, planks, side planks, wall sits and then more planks, triceps curls, bicep curls and jump squats until we feel near the brink of death. But we keep coming, keep yearning for a perfect day, a perfect row. We develop a strong relationship with our coxswain, our coaches and even our boats. We lose the better part of our social lives, with the common reply, "Sorry I can't I have rowing.." We love it and hate it and feel pain 80% of the time but we still keep coming, every day, every season, every regatta.
We have water flowing through our veins and in our hearts we know that we are
Rowers.

Post #9 (for lack of creativity)

(Okay, I would like to caution all potential readers... All my thoughts might not be fully fleshed out. My brain is overflowing at the moment, and its hard to sort things out when the thoughts just keep bubbling over... Anyways, with that, proceed with caution...)

Waiting is hard for us (at least it is for me), because we have gotten used to having what we want and having it now. When we don’t get 'it' we feel angry and frustrated.
But if we can learn to wait and hope, it will shape our lives.
Instead of settling for what I have, and trying to make myself comfortable, I want to be willing to put up with discomfort, with not belonging, even with suffering because this is not it.
I long for the day when justice and mercy will be seen in all the earth, when God will wipe away every tear. I pray “Your Kingdom Come”.
And we celebrate the glimpses of it, the stories of it and the echoes of it. We love selflessness, generosity, grace, and mercy because these things are 'kingdom things'...

Recently I have been asked (quite a number of times, actually) what I hope for. I usually say that I try to stay away from hope, because I don't want to be let down. Not until recently have I realized that this isn't necessarily true... Maybe I try to stay away from 'wishing' for things, or having dreams, but, not having hope? That sounds scary.

So, over the past few days, 'hope' has been on my mind. You see the word everywhere... 'Hope' has begun to be used more loosely than it used to, often seen as synonymous for 'wish', which is something that I commonly do, although I'm not sure it is entirely correct...

Tonight I was talking to a few friends, getting their opinion on the 2 words as well... Here are some things that I (and friends) have thought on 'hope' and 'wish'...
Wish us more immediate, on a finite time line. Hope is sometime in the future, with no limitations on time. Wish is flimsy, no solid reasoning behind it. Hope has desire, it is beyond proof, and a belief that something, or someone, could make it happen.

Hope can be both a noun and a verb... 'I have hope...' vs. 'I hope...'. I think, as a Christian, I have hope. And a strong hope, which could be said to be faith.

A Christian with no hope? Impossible, if you ask me.

Waiting. Hoping. Longing. Wishing.

Confusing.

"Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget that, until the day God deigns to reveal the future to man, the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and hope." --Alexandre Dumas

Wowza.

Okay, so, 3 posts in one day... Kinda a big thing. But believe me, not every day will be like this.
School starts tomorrow (crap!) and with that comes homework. Also with the start of school comes the start of Spring Season for rowing... Out on the water, Monday - Friday, 4 - 6. Slightly time consuming. Oh, and of course, my goal to read a buncha books by the end of February...
All together, it means I will probably be blogging less (although I may still spend WAY too much time on the computer)...

This post isn't deep, insightful, and it didn't take a lot of thought...
I just thought I'd share two clips that I have been watching a lot today.

I will start of with an explanation.

Sound completely blows my mind. Just, sound in general. Crunching of gravel beneath feet, squeal of tires, the 'white noise' of a fan, an orchestra playing Beethoven or a child learning to play the piano...
It amazes me. Leaves me speechless. I'm trying to think of a way to convey how sound makes me feel, and I can't. It's just... Ah. Amazing.

Anyway, with sound, I also appreciate music. Although, I don't really love music for being music, I love it because it's harmonious, well-organized, skillful sound.

My darling friend sent me a link to a Youtube video, and it has me mesmerized. I LOVE it. And, I am willing to share it with you, as well as another clip, which is 'The making of'.





As for the advertising of the product... I have no opinion on whether the Walkman is good/bad. I could not care less. What I do care about is that beautiful display of noise.

New or Old, Borrowed or Bought, Dog-Eared or Crisp...

Problem 1:
I have quite a few books on the go.
All of which I would like to finish.
I also have a number of books I have not yet started, but would like to start soon.

Problem 2:
I haven't been spending much time reading.
I could definitely be spending more time reading.

Solution:
"A goal not written down is merely a wish"
So, I will post my current reading list on my blog so that other people know about my goal, thus actually making it a goal. I would like to be through this list by... The end of February.
At first, the end of February seems like a long time away, and that I'll easily be able to get through this list... But after looking at my bed-side tables, I realize that 2 months might not even be enough time...

I'll keep you updated on my goal.
Maybe even write a review or two.

January/February Reading List
(in no particular order...)
The Narnian Alan Jacobs
The Pillars of the Earth Ken Follett
Miles to Cross Mike Howerton
The Cloister Walk Kathleen Norris
Where is God When it Hurts Philip Yancey
A Year with CS Lewis CS Lewis
Mere Christianity CS Lewis
Jesus Freaks dc Talk and The Voice of the Martyrs
Surprised by Hope N.T. Wright
Walking After Midnight Katy Hutchinson
The Shack Wm. Paul Young
Victory Over the Darkness Neil T. Anderson

That is it.
3,736 pages of reading.
...I wish myself good luck.

Something to note...
I do not usually just read a book. Although it is probably strange for a 16 year old to say this, one of my favorite things to do in the world is take notes.
For almost all books I read, fiction or non-fiction, I take notes.
I have numerous notebooks full of my thoughts while reading.
5 of the 12 books on the list I have read before, and I must say, I'm excited to compare the notes from this read-through to my last prior times reading the books.

Happy reading, y'all :]

Edit: In case anyone was wondering, 3,736 pages means an average of 467 pages a week... Which means 66.7 pages a day. Once I put it into those terms, this seems like a much more achievable goal. :D

What Sarah reads on sick days....

After following link after link from one blog to another, I came across a blog post today that piqued my interest... The blog is nothing super special, just a personal blog from a woman who is a talented writer.

This post is about lolcats or Icanhascheezburger.com, "a web site and internet phenomenon that combines a photo of a cat with a funny, idiosyncratic caption in broken English". I can say, I detest lolcats. I'll admit, they're funny some times, but, I can't get past the terrible 'chat speak' and bad grammar.
(Not that I'm one to talk. Occasionally, when I'm chatting to friends online, 'mai' will replace 'my' and 'I am drawing' or 'I am sad' is replaced with 'I be drawing'/'I be sad'. From my few visits to this site, my vocabulary has been corrupted.)

The amazing thing about this post is that it looks into lolcats, and touches on possible emotions behind the 'funny' pictures...

I am more appreciative of lolcats now, and looks at it from a new view point...
Although, as far as I'm concerned, my visits will NOT become any more frequent.