I did not have 2 McFlurries, 1 large fries, 1 large Slurpee and 2 ice cream cones in one afternoon and then tell my mom I couldn't eat dinner cause I had too many carrots at lunch. Definitely wouldn't do that.
There's no way I would spend 5 minutes trying to find someone to pick up a caterpillar so I wouldn't kill it with the lawn mower, instead of just moving it myself. Nope.
Last night, I certaintly did not laugh out loud in a church service about a cute baby, just while the speaker was talking about prostitution, Freeset and the women involved.
There is no way my sister and I were reading FMyLife and find one post hilarious, only to realize that it was my own FML from a week before.
I would never ride a bike while wearing roller blades and my friends were doubling on an elecrtic scooter. We did not ride through the streets like fools and disturb the neighbourhood with our tomfoolery.
I would never let my sister sleep in my bed with me for a night instead of killing the daddy long-legs that was in her room. Never.
Not Me!
