Resurrection

An inspiring piece by Rob Bell. (click the link to watch the movie)

Jesus is standing in front of the temple in Jerusalem, the massive gleaming brick and stone and gold house of God and he says, "Destroy this temple and I’ll rebuild it in three days." The people listening to him said "how are you going to do that? It took 46 years to build this temple!" But he wasn’t talking about that temple, he’s talking about himself. He essentially says, "listen, I’m going to be killed." That’s where this is headed, because you don’t confront corrupt systems of power without paying for it, sometimes with your own blood. And so he’s headed to his execution.

If you had witnessed this divine life extinguished on a cross, how would you not be overwhelmed with despair? Is the world ultimately a cold, hard, dead place? Does death have the last word? Is it truly, honestly, actually dark, and so whatever light we do see, whatever good we do stumble upon, are those just blips on the radar? Momentary interruptions in an otherwise meaningless existence? Because if that’s the case, then despair is the only reasonable response.

It's easy to be cynical, but Jesus says destroy this temple and I’ll rebuild it. He insists that his execution would not be the end. He’s talking about something new and unexpected happening after his death. He’s talking about resurrection.

Resurrection announces that God has not given up on the world, because this world matters. This world that we call home--dirt and blood and sweat and skin and light and water. This world that God is redeeming and restoring and renewing. Greed and violence and abuse...they are not right and they cannot last. They belong to death and death does not belong.

Resurrection says that what we do with our lives matters. In this body, the one that we inhabit right now, every act of compassion matters. Every work of art that celebrates the good and the true matters, every fair and honest act of business and trade, every kind word. They all belong and they will all go on in God’s good world. Nothing will be forgotten, nothing will be wasted. It all has it’s place

Everybody believes something, everybody believes somebody. Jesus invites us to trust resurrection, that every glimmer of good, every hint of hope, every impulse that elevates the soul is a sign, a taste, a glimpse of how things actually are and how things will ultimately be. Resurrection affirms this life and the next as a seamless reality, embraced, graced, and saved by God.

There is an unexpected mysterious presence who meets each of us in our lowest moments, when we have no strength and when we have nothing left. When we can’t go on we hear the voice that speaks those words, "Destroy this temple and I’ll rebuild it."

Do you believe this? That’s the question Jesus asked then, and that’s the question he asks now.

Jesus’ friends arrive at his tomb and they’re told "he isn’t here". You didn’t see that coming, did you? "He’s isn’t here, there is nothing to fear, and nothing can ever be the same again." We are living in a world in the midst of rescue, with endless unexpected possibilities.

"They will take my life and I will die," Jesus says, "but that will not be the end." And when you find yourself assuming that it’s over, when it’s lost, gone, broken and it could never be put back together again, when it’s been destroyed and you swear that it could never be rebuilt, hold on a minute. Because in that moment, things will in fact have just begun.

* * *

I watched this clip this evening, and God knows how much I needed it. I listened a few times, and realized how much more I would get out of it by reading it, so I decided to type it out as I listened. Then, after typing for about half an hour, I tried searching for the transcript, and realized that I could've saved time and just posted that. But I got so much out of this transcript, it was definitely worth it.

To Break the Silence

So funny story. When I started writing this morning, it was just going to be an intro into a different post. But it kinda flowed. Maybe it's because I'm half asleep and so writing 'poetry' is easier than full/complete sentences. But... It's honest and straight from the heart. 2 minutes of typing as I shivered from the cold breeze coming through the window. Hope it's worth something to you.

I haven't posted in awhile.

I haven't written in a longer time.

I don't know why.
No words are with me in this moment.
No thoughts are exactly strong enough to break through the wall.
What fed me in the past? The need to understand.
The yearning to know, to feel, to be.
I wrote about hope when I lost mine.
I wrote about strength and love when I needed some.

Things are different now.

This is not to say that I don't struggle; I do.
This is not to say that I know it all; I don't.
This is to say I've lost the constant craving for something to help me.

In the past, I felt I had no where to turn in my desperation.
Sleepless nights left me hungry,
daily struggles left me empty.
I needed something to fill the void.

But now...

I am satisfied.
Not with the good stuff, but with the mediocre.
Not full to the top, just enough to keep me going.
I'm not desperate, so I'm not searching.

I don't question because I'm scared of losing.
I don't wonder cause I want at least this.
And maybe if I tried to continue untangling the mess that is life...
Maybe I'd just get wrapped in it again.

Content with what I've got.

Now I don't mean that I don't see the chaos.
I don't mean that I don't see there can be better.
I just mean that, through the years, I've tried and tried to get this far,
To unravel knots and weave a little security together out of what I've learned.

And finally, I've got some.
Finally, I have some stable footing, with a net to catch me.

But do I trust it?
If I keep climbing up this mountain, who's to say I won't fall?
To trust this net I've woven is like...
Well, I don't know, but I know that I don't like it.

So, why trust it?

Why don't I just stop, enjoy the view.
I've come this far, and that's fine with me.
Sure, I could go farther, but it's comfy here.
Kinda cozy actually.

And sure, maybe there's a reason I should keep pushing.
Maybe there's something special wrapped up in this tangle of life.
But for now, I'm happy with this ball of knots I'm holding.
It's special to me, almost 'cool' in the coolest sense of the word.

So why push?

I've written so many times not to stay content, to live with purpose,
But have I ever been content?
Maybe, as I unwrap this intricate weave of gnarled string,
It's wrapping itself around me.

It's nice here.

I'm content.

Why strive for more?

"But"

Psalm 13

For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts 

and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

 Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

 and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.



Ever have those times when everything is going wrong, when it seems like you are stuck in the middle of a storm and can’t see the end?
Do you have those days when it seems everyone is against you? Does God every feel like he’s a million miles away?

I can’t stand those times. And I'm often in them. I get a frustrated, stressed, self-centered when those times comes.. But what I must remember is that’s life! Life is not lived on the mountaintops; life is lived in the valley. Who knows this better than King David? David lived life in the valley. Most of his life was a struggle. Kid stuck with watching the sheep while his brothers went on an adventure. Stood alone before a giant because no one else had the guts or the faith. Spears chucked at him by the king while playing his harp for the king. Was pursued by a jealous king who wanted to snuff David’s life out. Struggled with sin, adultery, murder, and the pain of life that all of that mess with Bathsheba resulted in. David knew what it meant to live life in the valley.

So when the tough storms of life come, when the world feels like it is squeezing in around me, I must (and usually don't) remember the big “But”. Did you see it?

Verse 5 and 6:“But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.”

Know your position – God loves you.
Check your attitude – Rejoice in salvation and sing to the Lord.

Not about Canada Day.

Currently (as in recently doing over the past days, not literally)...

reading: The Bible Jesus Read
Just started it, no thoughts yet. I'll let you know.

listening to: Jack Johnson's Sing-along and Lullabies
It's a comfort thing. Sure, the songs sound like they're for litle kids, but listen to them. They've got a message.

eating: trail mix and yogurt
And I've started not adding anything to the food I eat--no dressing, condiments, etc. Not sure why...

watching: CSI re-runs
You just don't question a good thing.

thinking about: older siblings
It's a hard job.

finding frustrating: swearing and growing up.
They both just aren't cool.

* * *

I've been in and our of hospital lately for my shoulder. And I've been told there's really nothing the doctors can do. So, I've been taking it easy the last few days, even spent a while just chilling in bed. Let me tell you, that was difficult. Difficult, and yet all I could do. The pain has been getting worse each time I dislocate it--frustrating, as each time I dislocate it, it gets easier to dislocate. Hmm. I think I should be put in a bubble... It seems like no where is safe for me these days.

* * *

I've been putting a lot of thought lately into 'choices'. We have so many choices we can make, if we choose to. And then, in all the opportunities we do have choices, we can choose to do the right thing, or the wrong thing, or the option thats mainly right but a bit wrong, or the thing that is wrong but not as bad as another choice... It's just a mess. And then, to top it all off, those choice affect not only us, but other people in our lives too. Sometimes, it even affects people we don't even know.

I think lots of people (most commonly in younger people, aka teens, although also people of all ages) underestimate choices. Both the power of our choices and the numbers of our choices. Which really go hand in hand. If you don't realize how many choices you have, you won't always be making the right choice, or even realizing you could make the right choice...

Anyway, that was quite a long preamble for something that could have been said quite simply. I have been feeling more positive lately, and I believe it is because I have made the choice to. I never thought it would work, but I've been proven wrong. Choosing positive really can help life seem better. For me at least.

I have a choice about everything I do. In the same way, I have a choice about everything I don't do. Coming to that realization really changed things... For one, it's made complaining a lot harder. Don't worry though, I still do it a lot more than I should.

* * *

Make sure you continue to check in with this blog occasionally... I may or may not have a post planned for sometime over the next few days, and it may or may not be the start of a semi-regular affair...

* * *

To finish it off, here are some...

Confessions of a Teenage Girl

I have recently taken a few Facebook quizzes.
When my parents say I have to clean my room before I go out, I sometimes* shove everything in my closet.
I felt like I was enlightened after reading the results to said taken Facebook quizzes.
I love singing Nickleback or Kelly Clarkson at the top of my lungs.
I wish I could be an music artist or a dancer when I grow up.
I occasionally* lie in bed a dream about my future husband.
I sign my diary as if I was talking to a person.
I sleep with stuffed animals.

*read: frequently

This is what my reality looks like...

Psalm 103:1-4

Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.


I have struggled so much in the last few years... Struggled with my self-esteem, struggled with how I see God, struggled with feeling so alone... Struggled with things I didn't have any control over, and things I caused. Struggled with things I didn't(and don't) even know I'm struggling with...

My mind has run rampant with pure and utter hatred that life isn't fair, and there isn't a logical reason for everything that happens. I've wrestled with the question 'why' and then 'why not' and still don't really have a grasp on any answers. I have felt a brokenness within me, that if not contained could very well break my spirit and leave me a shattered-shadow of a person.

As you can see, its been pretty rough.

Now I realize that its all a mixture of natural human emotion and very specific spiritual warfare... And in keeping that in mind, I know that I have to keep my eye on the prize, that I have to keep praising my God. I look at Job, and he refused to "curse God and die"...he kept his eyes towards heaven. I look within myself and see an ocean of possibilities and my only hope in this is God. So as I enter into what I am hoping to be a big turning point for me, I'm going to stand firm on God's truth that "sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning". I believe God is challenging me to hold on to my dreams and keep them close to my heart... Despite present circumstances.

So...what dreams am I holding on to.
At the moment... I don't know. I guess I want to grow up. I want to live close to my family and friends. I want to learn how to let myself smile again. My view has been clouded for so long but I promise you, that the sky is breaking and I can start to see the sun shine. I want to know people, be involved in their lives, listen to them and care about them. I want to be an example of God's Love to everyone around me. I want to love others, and I want to love myself...

So I can choose to be completely misreable and sad, and slide back into grieving...or I can choose to hold tight to my dreams, and get buckled in...because once you choose to believe in your dreams, God takes you on a wild ride. I'm sure that they'll be a few set-backs along the way, probably all due to me taking my eye off the prize...

But for now, I've shed enough tears... I'm choosing to buckle my seatbelt.

Ch-ch-changes

Things that have changed over the past short while:

- Blog has a new look. Do you like? Vote about it in the poll on the sidebar!
- The weather. It's been B-E-A-UTIFUL in Victoria. Yay for warm weather
- My arm. No longer in a sling, I have been told to avoid that position. Instead, I am to try to keep my arm as straight as possible. Can you say OUCH?
- Music. Been spinning some new (to me) CD's lately... Some really great stuff.

Things that HAVEN'T changed:

- Facebook annoys me. Stop with the invites, already.
- My sleep has still been pretty bad.
- My arm. Physio can't get it to stay in, which may lead to this. Ugh.
- I'm still me, your loveable SPro! :D

two thousand and nine

We're staring at the New Year right in the face.
An exciting time for me.

Another year has passed... 2009 promises to bring lots of new things. In just over 3 weeks, I'll be turning 17, which means I can get my N (I'd advise you to stay off the sidewalks, let alone the roads). Sketchy, eh? When did I grow up?
Also in 2009, I'll be finishing my first year at a new school. Within the year, I'll be starting my last year of high school - now THAT'S crazy.

2008 has been a year of lots of struggles, hurdles and other challenges... But it has also been 360 days of continual blessings, and most definitely a learning experience. After some thought, I've come up with a word to summarize my 2008:

awakening

Over 2008 I've definitely had some major realizations. I won't get into too much detail, but, I've realized many things about myself, as well as about others, and the world in general. I think those realizations have mainly changed me for the better. God's done a lot of work in my life over the past 8760 hours.

Which brings me to my next point... My word for the upcoming year:

change

Change can be frightening, and change can be painful. But, there is no growth without pain. I've been scared of change mainly because it's a giant question mark. I'm not too fond of the unknown. But I believe a key part to Christianity and a relationship with God is willingness to change. So that's what I want to do as I enter 2009... I want to be willing to change.

Let’s face it, we talk about change, but we don’t handle change really well, and when we speak of change it isn’t frequently that we can do it with our whole hearts, without the voices of cynicism falling down around us like the dead leaves on Ohio running trails. The Hebrew writers of the Proverbs certainly studied nature, recognized the immediacy of change, and encouraged it with open arms (see also Bob Dylan’s version of the Proverb). But our faith is one built entirely on the promises of change. In fact, it is founded in the idea that change has already been resoundingly delivered.

-Matt Litton, Running Into Change (Relevant Magazine)

I believe that change is necessary. For me, for others, and the world on whole. Change is going to happen. Are you going to make change happen, or is it going to happen to you?

Take an active role in your life. I'm going to try with mine. As my youth pastor says, live with purpose. Think about what you are doing, and don't just stand around, waiting for God, or others, to do things for you. If we all start making conscious changes in our lives, I have a feeling that something good will happen.

Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.

- Holocaust Museum, Washington DC

There are only two ways of spreading light - to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it.

-Edith Wharton, Novelist

Blessings to everyone for 2009.
Happy New Year.