Things that have changed over the past short while:
- Blog has a new look. Do you like? Vote about it in the poll on the sidebar!
- The weather. It's been B-E-A-UTIFUL in Victoria. Yay for warm weather
- My arm. No longer in a sling, I have been told to avoid that position. Instead, I am to try to keep my arm as straight as possible. Can you say OUCH?
- Music. Been spinning some new (to me) CD's lately... Some really great stuff.
Things that HAVEN'T changed:
- Facebook annoys me. Stop with the invites, already.
- My sleep has still been pretty bad.
- My arm. Physio can't get it to stay in, which may lead to this. Ugh.
- I'm still me, your loveable SPro! :D
27 April 2009
15 April 2009
Results 1 - 10 of about 130,000,000 for efficiency. (0.10 seconds)
I was sitting the other day, enjoying the sunshine and thinking, with questions popping into my head. Questions like 'Why can't God heal people faster?' or 'Why can't He make things "better" or at least "easier"?'. I sat and contemplated why, and suddenly I realized...
God isn't exactly about efficiency. It doesn't really seem like He has much of a deadline.
I was looking through my bible for some idea's on efficiency, and what Scripture has to say about it, when I came across something I have read many times, but thought of in a new way... Let me tell you a story. A long time ago (in a galaxy far far away)...
God had a chat with Abraham, and he said (roughly) "Let's get this small group of people to live a life of joy and justice, and then others, fascinated by their love for each other, will join them. And eventually, over time, the whole world will return to loving me"
That little chat happened a very long time ago, and in my opinion, not much has changed since.
God, being God, could've easily just have said in a big booming voice, 'Everybody love me' just as easily as He said 'Let there be light'. So, why didn't he? Seems like that would be so much easier, just to quickly have things the way He wants them to be.
God isn't like that, not at all.
The most efficient example I can think of from God's works would be The Flood, aka Noah's Ark. The world was a bad place, and He kinda wanted to change that. I like to think of it as a do-over. Nice and efficient, wipe out people, start from square 1.
Most of us know the outcome of that story. He vowed NEVER to do it again.
God isn't exactly about efficiency. It doesn't really seem like He has much of a deadline.
I was looking through my bible for some idea's on efficiency, and what Scripture has to say about it, when I came across something I have read many times, but thought of in a new way... Let me tell you a story. A long time ago (in a galaxy far far away)...
God had a chat with Abraham, and he said (roughly) "Let's get this small group of people to live a life of joy and justice, and then others, fascinated by their love for each other, will join them. And eventually, over time, the whole world will return to loving me"
That little chat happened a very long time ago, and in my opinion, not much has changed since.
God, being God, could've easily just have said in a big booming voice, 'Everybody love me' just as easily as He said 'Let there be light'. So, why didn't he? Seems like that would be so much easier, just to quickly have things the way He wants them to be.
God isn't like that, not at all.
The most efficient example I can think of from God's works would be The Flood, aka Noah's Ark. The world was a bad place, and He kinda wanted to change that. I like to think of it as a do-over. Nice and efficient, wipe out people, start from square 1.
Most of us know the outcome of that story. He vowed NEVER to do it again.
* * *
The world today is so good at being efficient. I can get the definition of "efficient" on Google in 0.17 seconds. I can go to my TV and replay they 30 seconds of the show I missed because I was texting my friends about studying together online in an hour. It seems to work so well, but...
When efficiency is the top priority when dealing with conflict and justice, violence is almost always the outcome.
Not good.
Not God.
When unlimited wealth or personal gain is the goal (which seems to be a big theme in the world today), efficiency becomes the method. When efficiency is the method, exploitation is often a result.
Exploitation is NOT love. And God is not about exploitation at all.
So, if God isn't going to use the most efficient way to get people to love Him, how does He do it?
The answer: Relationships.
He asks us to have a relationship with Him, and asks us to have loving relationships with others.
Face-to-face, real life relationships are more loving than a big booming voice. It's more personal and intimate than forced adoration. By dealing with other people, you experience life and struggles, and your focus is on the person you are talking with, instead of having 6 MSN chats with people from all around the world, while watching your favourite TV show, playing solitaire and filing your taxes.
I think it says something that we value efficiency so much, but it doesn't seem to be high on God's agenda… We always want the newest iPod, that holds so much more music so we have more choice, and have a longer battery life; or we choose to go on the computer to chat with friends while doing work instead of spending time in Creation.
There’s definitely a reason why God didn’t just do it the easy, efficient way. Maybe we should pay more attention.
When efficiency is the top priority when dealing with conflict and justice, violence is almost always the outcome.
Not good.
Not God.
When unlimited wealth or personal gain is the goal (which seems to be a big theme in the world today), efficiency becomes the method. When efficiency is the method, exploitation is often a result.
Exploitation is NOT love. And God is not about exploitation at all.
So, if God isn't going to use the most efficient way to get people to love Him, how does He do it?
The answer: Relationships.
He asks us to have a relationship with Him, and asks us to have loving relationships with others.
Face-to-face, real life relationships are more loving than a big booming voice. It's more personal and intimate than forced adoration. By dealing with other people, you experience life and struggles, and your focus is on the person you are talking with, instead of having 6 MSN chats with people from all around the world, while watching your favourite TV show, playing solitaire and filing your taxes.
I think it says something that we value efficiency so much, but it doesn't seem to be high on God's agenda… We always want the newest iPod, that holds so much more music so we have more choice, and have a longer battery life; or we choose to go on the computer to chat with friends while doing work instead of spending time in Creation.
There’s definitely a reason why God didn’t just do it the easy, efficient way. Maybe we should pay more attention.
04 April 2009
Why am I not asleep?
Word of warning: I am very drugged. Pain killers are powerful. Sentences may be incomplete and ideas may be all over the place. Good luck, and God bless.
So. It's been awhile.
I've been struggling a lot lately.
I'm unfamiliar with anger, but over the past while, me and >:[ have become close friends.
I've been less patient, more judgmental, and quite self-centered. Aaaand I've been spending a fair amount of time complaining.
During times like this I ask myself - "Why would God want a relationship with a terrible person like me? Why doesn't He do Himself a favor and just forget about me and move on?"
This is common for me to feel this way. I usually jump around between 3 different mind sets...
1. The previous stated, feeling loved by God, but knowing I don't deserve it--angry
2. feeling loved by God, feeling loving towards God--hopeful and praising
3. feeling forgotten by God, unable to find Him--doomed and destructive
This mood (#1) kinda baffles me... I know God's here, and that He loves me... But I don't want Him to love me, because I want justice, and I want the world to be fair. I don't deserve His love. Screw God's mercy. We're bad people and God is good so that's that.
Thankfully for me (and for you), I don't get to choose what God is like. Otherwise I would've already been struck down by lightning long ago.
During all these different 'stages' or 'moods', whether good or bad, my faith strongly consists of two things: patience and hope. They can also be called the past and the future.
I patiently look back to my past to see the evidence of what God has already done in my life, as a way of gaining confidence (and hope) that He might do it again in the future. (This also reminds me that for Him to do it again, He's gotta be part of my life, so I don't want that to change)
Because there is sometimes very little evidence of God's presence in the present, I have to look back and realize that He's been there all along.
He was there when I was little.
He was there when I was born.
He was there with every person who felt lost or forgotten that we all read about in the Bible.
Chances are, if He was there then, He's here now.
But why doesn't it seem that obvious?
Why is that so hard for me to accept?
Even though I have no doubt that He was with me yesterday and all days before, I somehow question whether He's here with me today.
* * *
The famed spiritual director Fénelon advised his students that in difficult times, "Prayer may be less easy, the Presence of God less evident and less comforting, and outward duties may be harder and less acceptable, but the faithfulness that accompanies them is greater, and that is enough for God"
* * *
I am scared of a lot of things. Some people would call me paranoid. But, my fears have taught me many lessons... Here's one of them.
It's much easier to act your way into feelings than feel your way into actions.
Complicated, I know. But here's how it works...
I'm terrified of the dark. I used to (and will sometimes still) sleep with all the lights in my room on--overhead light, nightlights, lava lamps, reading lamps... My fear was to a point where I could not walk from my front door to the car at night.
I couldn't get over my fear. And yet, I needed to be able to function at night. So, I started acting like I had no fear. I told myself I wasn't afraid and I forced myself to function, even if it was pitch back (sometimes I still froze/panicked--we all slip up sometimes). Every night, lying in bed, I repeated over and over "I'm not afraid. There's nothing to be scared of. I'm not afraid." Eventually, my mind started to shift a bit... I was actually less scared, all because I had forced myself to act less scared (praying a lot probably helped too). Taking an active roll in my life and making a conscious decision to change is probably more effective/efficient than waiting for a miracle and to suddenly be fearless (not that I don't believe it could happen!)
So, that got me thinking... Could I do the same thing with other feelings? Possibly. If I didn't like hockey, but I forced myself to watch it every single night, I might eventually enjoy it. But what about life stuff, like being overly self-critical, or forgiving others? And is it worth the trouble? Why not just live in fear, or constantly beat ourselves up, or live with hatred towards someone?
Because God doesn't want us to do that.
Can I act my way into feeling forgiveness? If I wake up every morning I force myself to say "I forgive ____", I may actually eventually forgive them. Is that easier that just letting anger towards them eat you up? Heck no. It's definitely a lot harder (see quote above). But who said being a Christian was easy? God doesn't want us to be content with who we are and how the world is.
It's interesting... That change in one behavior creates change in another... By acting one way, I can actually become it, or more like it. I think my relationship with God is similar to this... It would be cool if my obedience and 'goodness' came naturally and I just wanted to praise God and do the Right Thing all the time... But, really, I'm not like that AT ALL. For me personally, the 'life of faith' sometimes is me forcing myself to do things, or acting as if I'm certain the whole "Jesus loves me" thing is true. I assume that God really does love me completely, and that nothing I can do will change that, that in the end good will beat evil, and that the broken and fallen can be redeemed... But I have no sure evidence of such truths and the only thing that keeps me believing them sometimes is this seed deep-down inside of me that I cannot deny... So, even in doubts, I (try to) act as if God is a loving Father, I (try to) treat the people around me like they really were created in God's imagine, and I (try to) forgive those who wrong me as if God as forgiven me....
Christianity has always kinda seemed backwards to me... Trust and obedience come first, and knowledge comes after.
* * *
"Choosing to believe is believing. It's all I can do: choose ... I do not affirm that I am without doubt, I do but ask for help, having chosen, to overcome it. I do but say: Lord, I believe--help Thou mine unbelief." - Sheldon Vanauken A Severe Mercy
So. It's been awhile.
I've been struggling a lot lately.
I'm unfamiliar with anger, but over the past while, me and >:[ have become close friends.
I've been less patient, more judgmental, and quite self-centered. Aaaand I've been spending a fair amount of time complaining.
During times like this I ask myself - "Why would God want a relationship with a terrible person like me? Why doesn't He do Himself a favor and just forget about me and move on?"
This is common for me to feel this way. I usually jump around between 3 different mind sets...
1. The previous stated, feeling loved by God, but knowing I don't deserve it--angry
2. feeling loved by God, feeling loving towards God--hopeful and praising
3. feeling forgotten by God, unable to find Him--doomed and destructive
This mood (#1) kinda baffles me... I know God's here, and that He loves me... But I don't want Him to love me, because I want justice, and I want the world to be fair. I don't deserve His love. Screw God's mercy. We're bad people and God is good so that's that.
Thankfully for me (and for you), I don't get to choose what God is like. Otherwise I would've already been struck down by lightning long ago.
During all these different 'stages' or 'moods', whether good or bad, my faith strongly consists of two things: patience and hope. They can also be called the past and the future.
I patiently look back to my past to see the evidence of what God has already done in my life, as a way of gaining confidence (and hope) that He might do it again in the future. (This also reminds me that for Him to do it again, He's gotta be part of my life, so I don't want that to change)
Because there is sometimes very little evidence of God's presence in the present, I have to look back and realize that He's been there all along.
He was there when I was little.
He was there when I was born.
He was there with every person who felt lost or forgotten that we all read about in the Bible.
Chances are, if He was there then, He's here now.
But why doesn't it seem that obvious?
Why is that so hard for me to accept?
Even though I have no doubt that He was with me yesterday and all days before, I somehow question whether He's here with me today.
* * *
The famed spiritual director Fénelon advised his students that in difficult times, "Prayer may be less easy, the Presence of God less evident and less comforting, and outward duties may be harder and less acceptable, but the faithfulness that accompanies them is greater, and that is enough for God"
* * *
I am scared of a lot of things. Some people would call me paranoid. But, my fears have taught me many lessons... Here's one of them.
It's much easier to act your way into feelings than feel your way into actions.
Complicated, I know. But here's how it works...
I'm terrified of the dark. I used to (and will sometimes still) sleep with all the lights in my room on--overhead light, nightlights, lava lamps, reading lamps... My fear was to a point where I could not walk from my front door to the car at night.
I couldn't get over my fear. And yet, I needed to be able to function at night. So, I started acting like I had no fear. I told myself I wasn't afraid and I forced myself to function, even if it was pitch back (sometimes I still froze/panicked--we all slip up sometimes). Every night, lying in bed, I repeated over and over "I'm not afraid. There's nothing to be scared of. I'm not afraid." Eventually, my mind started to shift a bit... I was actually less scared, all because I had forced myself to act less scared (praying a lot probably helped too). Taking an active roll in my life and making a conscious decision to change is probably more effective/efficient than waiting for a miracle and to suddenly be fearless (not that I don't believe it could happen!)
So, that got me thinking... Could I do the same thing with other feelings? Possibly. If I didn't like hockey, but I forced myself to watch it every single night, I might eventually enjoy it. But what about life stuff, like being overly self-critical, or forgiving others? And is it worth the trouble? Why not just live in fear, or constantly beat ourselves up, or live with hatred towards someone?
Because God doesn't want us to do that.
Can I act my way into feeling forgiveness? If I wake up every morning I force myself to say "I forgive ____", I may actually eventually forgive them. Is that easier that just letting anger towards them eat you up? Heck no. It's definitely a lot harder (see quote above). But who said being a Christian was easy? God doesn't want us to be content with who we are and how the world is.
It's interesting... That change in one behavior creates change in another... By acting one way, I can actually become it, or more like it. I think my relationship with God is similar to this... It would be cool if my obedience and 'goodness' came naturally and I just wanted to praise God and do the Right Thing all the time... But, really, I'm not like that AT ALL. For me personally, the 'life of faith' sometimes is me forcing myself to do things, or acting as if I'm certain the whole "Jesus loves me" thing is true. I assume that God really does love me completely, and that nothing I can do will change that, that in the end good will beat evil, and that the broken and fallen can be redeemed... But I have no sure evidence of such truths and the only thing that keeps me believing them sometimes is this seed deep-down inside of me that I cannot deny... So, even in doubts, I (try to) act as if God is a loving Father, I (try to) treat the people around me like they really were created in God's imagine, and I (try to) forgive those who wrong me as if God as forgiven me....
Christianity has always kinda seemed backwards to me... Trust and obedience come first, and knowledge comes after.
* * *
"Choosing to believe is believing. It's all I can do: choose ... I do not affirm that I am without doubt, I do but ask for help, having chosen, to overcome it. I do but say: Lord, I believe--help Thou mine unbelief." - Sheldon Vanauken A Severe Mercy